Thursday, January 8, 2009

Today is Thursday...

The day after Wednesday. Wednesday, trash pick-up day. Day after tossing very dead Christmas tree onto the deck. Had to put there considering all the rain/sleet. I've already fallen onto pavement twice (Worse, in front of the public viewing. Figures...) in 1 month. Same left knee. Hurt like a s.o.b. and bled like one, too. I thought slipping down the back hill would truly be tempting Fate and my lack of coordination. Well, there's that and the fact I'm running out of Bandaids/Neosporin. It's also the day after I receive in the mail my *official* divorce papers. No surprise it arrived on trash day. The irony of it.

The header of the document states, "State of Rhode Island and Providence Plantations. Family Court Final Judgment". It's even stamped by the Clerk as "True Copy Attest". Where do I put this document? File it in the legal Bin of Hell along with all the other papers I have received from lawyers over the last 10 months? Place it within "family" paper treasures that I have kept over the last 29 years? Or, frame the damn thing and hang it on the wall like you would with a college diploma you worked so hard for? Without the well earned golden stamp on the lower corner.... ~Sigh~

Over so many months, I have literally battled with and within myself, living the cliche' definition of "divorcee". A 50 year old divorcee whose ex husband stated, "I love you, but I'm not in love with you". That evolved into, "Marrying you was the biggest mistake I ever made. ***Ever***". I became one of "those" middle aged women you read about in selfhelp books or Redbook magazines. Thankfully, I am healing (slowly, I admit) and I know that all that was said to me is crap. I know much that I have read in the media or have bought, is crap. Only I decide if I want to live that bullshit cliche'. I don't and I won't. I never wanted to be a follower, anyway. :o )

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